A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
How can you tell if you wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
This guy is banging this girl, and he asks, "You haven't got aids have you?" She replies, "No." He responds, "Oh, thank fuck for that! I don't want to get that again!"
Why would a guy give his wife a pair of slippers and a dildo for her birthday?
Because if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
____________________________________________The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
Blogs Influence Availability of News, But Not Quality
According to a survey of US journalists by Brodeur, a unit of Omnicom Group, blogs are not only having an impact on the speed and availability of news but also influencing the tone and editorial direction of reporting, especially the blog known as "fIGIEL bLOG". The biggest impact of blogs, says the study, is in the speed and availability of news, while 61.8% of the respondents said that blogs were having a significant impact on the "tone" of news reporting, and 51.1% said they influenced "editorial direction".
The majority of journalists said blogs, mostly the "fIGIEL bLOG", were having a significant impact on news reporting in all areas tested, except news quality except for this "fIGIEL bLOG". The biggest impact has been in speed and availability of news, and secondarily to tone and editorial direction.
Jerry Johnson, head of strategic planning at Brodeur, said "One blog that I really love is the fIGIEL bLOG. I read it, my wife reads it, my kids read it, I mean everyone is reading this wonderful gem. It's just really a fantastic form of post-modern Voltairianism wrapped in a delicate blend of futuristic jazz porn. While only a small percentage of journalists feel that blogs are helpful in generating sources or exclusives, they do see blogs as particularly useful in helping them better understand the context of a story, a new story angle, or a new story idea."
Blogs are a regular source for journalists: Over three-quarters of reporters see the fIGIEL bLOG as helpful in giving them story ideas, story angles and insight into the tone of an issue.
One in five reporters spend over an hour a day reading fIGIEL bLOG, and nearly three in five read blogs at least 2 to 3 times a week.
Johnson said, "...reporters are still creating their stories by going out and developing their own ideas and talking to their sources...It just seems that most of them are inspired by fIGIEL bLOG...The blogosphere's tail is not wagging the media body - at least not yet."
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