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Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Does He Drive a Pussy Wagon?

This guy is just fucking disgusting, see article below. If someone ever did that to my grandma I would fucking slit their throat, pop out one of their eyeballs and skull-fuck them, piss in their mouth, amputate all of his appendages stick them in a blender and feed them to him but not before I tied his asshole so that he would have to shit them out through all other orifices, then I would fill his eye socket with liquid nitrogen and shatter his face into a million pieces. But since he is so evil, he would pull off some Terminator 2 poly-alloy liquid metal bullshit and fix himself. But then I would soak his body in a barrel of hot tar. Hang him for 15 second intervals (so as not to kill him right away), then drown him in pool of his own bodily fluids. Then I would read Dr. Suess' Green Eggs and Ham to his decrepit body and sing him a lullaby, then burn what was left of him and spread his ashes on the set of The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Cops: Man Caught in Hospital Necrophilia Act

Security Guards Allegedly Find Lab Employee Having Sex With 92-Year-Old's Corpse


Oct. 30, 2007 —

A 24-year-old New York City man remains jailed after he was found allegedly having sex with a 92-year-old woman's corpse inside the morgue of the hospital where he worked.

Anthony Merino, who works as a lab technician at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, N.J., was arrested Sunday after police responded to a call from a security guard at the hospital. The guard reported witnessing the lab technician sexually desecrating the woman's dead body, according to police.

"This is a first," Lt. Dean Kazinci, spokesman for the Teaneck, N.J., police, told ABC News. "When you think you've heard and seen it all, something like this happens."

Kazinci said the security guards at the hospital told police that they caught Merino in the act of necrophilia. They transported Merino to the police station, he said, and charged him after conducting a police interview.

A spokesman for Holy Name Hospital released a statement to ABC News calling the allegations a "heinous crime."

"We are horrified and saddened for the family of the patient and are completely empathic and sympathetic to them," the statement reads.

Merino had only been working at the hospital for 14 days, according to the statement, and had passed a criminal background check before he was offered the job. The hospital also notified the dead woman's next of kin after contacting authorities.

Merino was arraigned Monday on a charge of desecrating human remains, a second degree crime in New Jersey. A judge set bail at $400,000 with conditions that included Merino surrendering his passport and submitting to a psychological evaluation. He faces a maximum of 10 years in prison, if convicted.

In addition to working part time at Holy Name Hospital, Merino also had a part-time job as a histology technician at Overlook Hospital in Summit, N.J.

Janina Scheytt Hecht, a spokeswoman for Overlook Hospital, confirmed that Merino worked for the hospital from Sept. 10, 2007, until Monday. "He has been terminated," Hecht said, adding that Merino was subject to a background check there before he was hired. She also said no one had filed a complaint against him during his short tenure on the staff.

Necrophilia is a psychological condition that falls under the umbrella category of paraphilia, according to Michael Fogel, the chair of the forensic psychology department at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Paraphilia involves fantasies and sexual urges in which people are aroused by nonhuman objects or pain or humiliation of oneself or a sexual partner.

"It's an extraordinarily rare condition, but it's also a very real condition," said Fogel, who previously served as the director of the Sex Offender Evaluation Unit for the Illinois Department of Corrections. In more than 1,500 evaluations he performed in that role, he said, not one involved the condition of necrophilia.

Fogel said the psychological exam will be critical to understanding what type of risk Merino may pose. He also cautioned against simply calling the suspect, if he is, in fact, convicted of the crime, "nuts."

"In these type of cases, it's a sexual attraction that the individual has," he said. "That's what they're aroused to, it's what they have sexual fantasies about."

Monday, October 22, 2007


First Rule of Time Cube, Don't Understand Time Cube

Your father was a fish. You evolved
from an egg laid in water, fertilized by
a sperm fish swimming upstream -
just as salmon swim up stream to
fertilize female egg laid in the water.
Maybe, you should worship a fish god.

It is up to the youth to force
educators to teach Time Cube,
or inherit the barren Earth.

YOU are the lowest form.
YOU can't procreate alone.
YOU destroyed the village.
YOU destroyed the family.
YOU destroyed childhood.
YOU destroyed naturalism.
YOU don't know the Truth.
YOU pitiful mindless fools,
YOU are educated stupid.
worship cubeless word.

YOU are your own poison.
YOU create your own hell.
YOU must seek Time Cube.
1 day god vs 4 day Cubic.

Truth about Santa Claus debunks
Santa God. God evolves from Santa.
Time Cube Disproves Gods.

Ignoring Time Cube is Evil.
Educators ignore Cube Life
and they create evil students.
I am wiser than any god or


Gene Ray's website/blog/mindless banter, Time Cube, is funny, scary, full of short things, interesting, kind of gross but you can't help but look, and just plain shocking. Minus the AstroGlide it's very much like a North Korean Midget Porn Festival. This guy is really fucking crazy. Or maybe really fucking sane if you worship the purple elephant ham that dances on a fish pole made of baby's hair smoking Zoloft joints to the tune of "Jizz Bucket Swash-boggling Boogey Swallowers Version III in C-Minor" by the band Veronica and The Janitors. What if he is right about Time Cube and we are all just oblivious to his genius? Yeah right, and Michael Jackson likes to pet little girls.

Time Cube is a website created by Gene Ray where he sets out his proposed description of the nature of the universe. The website uses a distinctive combination of colorful large-font text, occasional black-and-white drawings, obscure statements, and unconventional grammar. Its style has been widely parodied, giving rise to an internet phenomenon.

The Time Cube concept itself is the proposition that time is cubic, a set of ideas which are generally viewed as cryptic and ill-defined. It is a frequent target of Internet humor. The concept is generally considered to be nonsense and lacking in testable hypothesis. Ray has challenged various authorities to debate the subject, but these challenges have generally been ignored or rejected.

Though he is often dismissed as a crank, Ray is outspoken in defending Time Cube and refers to conspiracy theories in explaining why his ideas are not accepted. Ray uses the word "evil" more than 110 times on his website to describe those who oppose or fail to understand his ideas. He also calls for the killing of not just those who oppose his ideas, but of anyone who is ignorant of them.

Ray proclaimed himself a "Doctor of Cubicism" in December 2002. He sometimes uses the title "Dr. Gene Ray - Cubic and Wisest Human".

Gene Ray's use of derogatory, racist, and even homicidal remarks regarding academia, religion (particularly Christianity), and ethnicities (e.g. Black and Jewish people) has encouraged further criticism against his website, and made it the subject of numerous parodies and humorous commentary.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


What the Fuck is a Widget?

Just like hullahoops, Pop Rocks, Cabbage Patch Kids and legal prostitution, there are many fads that fucked up attention deficit disordered Ritalin junked Americans go through each year (or minute). The latest craze everyone is talking about, which has yet to be raped by corporate advertising, are Widgets. What the fuck is a Widget? I thought I had one of those already, and a fairly large one I might add. Contrary to my sickened mind I found out that Widgets are not big ol' donkey dicks like I had thought previously. I decided to inquire about these Widgets from the most worldly renowned credible academically prestigious certified source that this planet has ever seen besides God...Wikipedia!

"Widget, the World Watcher is an animated television series which focused on a 4ft tall, purple alien from the Horsehead Nebula named Widget who could shapeshift. He and a group of young, human friends, Brian, Kevin and Kristine, would go through a number of adventures to protect the natural environment. Widget is frequently accompanied by the Megabrain, an extremely intelligent but somewhat clumsy being who appears as a floating head (with a transparent cranium) and floating hands."

Sorry wrong Widget. Are these people fucking high when they come up with these shows? I should write stories for cartoons. Anyway, here is the Widget one I am referring to.

"A web widget is a portable chunk of code that can be installed and executed within any separate HTML-based web page by an end user without requiring additional compilation. They are derived from the idea of reusable code that has existed for years. Applications can be integrated within a third party website by the placement of a small snippet of code.Web widgets often but not always use DHTML, Adobe Flash or JavaScript programming languages."

Whatever the fuck that means, a lot of people seem to think it's cool. So I guess I should do the American thing and think it's cool too.

I wonder if my webmaster knows what a widget is?

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Friday, October 5, 2007


Worst Halloween Costumes

Ahh...October...that time of the year. A time for big-titty Germans wenches to serve mass quantities of beer at Ocktoberfests, free candy for punk ass kids who terrorize the neighborhood, the cracking of teeth on year-old Candy Corn (which is neither candy nor corn), and sick twisted pedophiles stuff apples with freshly sharpened razor blades; yum! I always loved costume parties. The hardest part is figuring out what to wear that would be funny. Believe me, the worst thing you could do is show up to a Halloween costume party, not wearing a costume, and go as yourself. You would just be absolutely fucking lame and probably would not be able to hook up with the two chicks that came as siamese twins. I regret it every day of my life. However, I have managed to find some people who probably should have attended a costume party as themselves. Here are some pretty pathetic Halloween costumes. Enjoy you satan worshiping whore bags.

Bill Mahr as Steve Irwin.

What the fuck?

Very odd, but actually funny.

What a dick.

The Happy Catholic Priest.

Snakes on a Plane? This guy should be MOTHER FUCKING shot.

All he needs is 40 virgins.

Horribly disgusting.

Sausage party.

What the fuck?


Someone couldn't afford the Darth Vader costume.

This man has never been laid (photo taken in mom's basement ie. his room)


This is the worstest.

Turkey stuffing by Gerber.

Little Bo Beep lost one of her sheep to this sick fuck.

This would really freak me out if I was on acid.

Girls Gone Wild Disney Edition.

Bill Gates Jr.

You nasty girl.

This is actually the greatest costume in the world. I would love to tap that keg.

Looks very uncomfortable.

Is this that "PC" guy trying to be an Apple Computer?

What a waste of tinfoil.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007


Mitch Hedberg RIP

If you don't love Mitch Hedberg, then you are useless and should kill yourself immediately. Here's some of my favorite jokes from Mitch. Enjoy.


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